The Bush administration has been a consistent foreign policy failure. We are less safe now as a country than we were eight years ago. AMERICA, CHANGE IS COMING TO OUR FOREIGN AFFAIRS. It will begin with my Secretary of State, who is indeed prepared for 21st century diplomacy.
Secretary of State: Facebook.com
That's correct, my Secratary of State will actually be the website Facebook.com. I will begin by friending the leader of every nation. At my discretion, some I will poke. To others I will send flowers, a cookie, or a chest bump. But the important thing is, I will know the status of every country in the world. So, for example, if Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's profile says "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has obtained a nuclear weapon" I will take immediate and decisive action by removing him from my friend list. After seeking the approval of the leaders of Denmark, Iceland, and Benin.
Now, much has been said of the Bush administration's failure to capture Osama bin Laden. The Obamagarchy will not fail in this, because we will not make the same mistakes. To this order, I will establish a second facebook profile, under the name of Barack Hussein Osama, whom Bin Laden will of course friend, thinking him a kinsman. This will give us access to Bin Laden's profile, and hence his true location, and any embarrassing messages on his wall.
I might add that John McCain has never heard of Facebook.com, or the internet, or even electricity for that matter. He will therefore criticize my proposal as naive and foolish. However, my plan has been endorsed by former human U.S. Secretaries of State John Jay, Thomas Jefferson, John Quincy Adams, Henry Clay, Daniel Webster, and Hamilton Fish.
In my next post, I will unveil my plans for healthcare reform. But now I must repair to Mount Olympus where I will imbibe ambrosia and commune with Zeus and Hera.
Until then, I remain your Bodhisattva,
Barry
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